Explaining the Frock

Could it be that Nicole Kidman is prego again and she used a brilliant diversionary tactic to keep our eyes away from her bump and focused instead on the hideousness that is the rest of the dress?

My query: If so, you'd think she'd be a little more discreet and a little less flirty with the photogs while cupping the aforesaid bump.

She's a riddle wrapped in a conundrum, this one.

What The Frock?

First, I can't tell you how long I've been waiting to use that blog title.

Second, since I'm sick in bed and miserable, I'm going to spread the misery around (it loves company after all) and dump a little on Nicole Kidman and Kate Hudson.

These two gowns, worn at the AMAs a while back, are each profoundly hideous in their own way. Kidman has been starving herself for so long that I am shocked (SHOCKED!) that she found a dress this unflattering. AND, I'm further shocked (SHOCKED!) that after looking herself over in a mirror she didn't rip it off her body and demand something slimming and in black.

I'm not hounding her for being heavy, you guys, but I firmly believe that there's a flattering dress for every figure. This dress should be burned or turned back into curtains.

Hudson on the other hand, seems to be rubbing Kidman's nose in the fact that there's so little of her that the dress she's wearing is practically falling off her little body. There is LITERALLY nothing there to keep it up. That being said, the waistline is so unflattering that it actually makes Hudson look a little hefty herself.

For the love of fashion, I give this showing two thumbs down.

Something to be Thankful For

I am in bed with a horrible cold right now but this video made me not only smile but laugh for the first time since yesterday. Thank you, Miss Piggy. Thank you.

A Day Late & A Turkey Leg Short

Usualy on the day of Thanksgiving I get a post up to wish you all a very happy holiday. This year I was so busy cooking and then feasting that it just didn't happen. So, to make it up to you, some pics of the feast:

Here we are at the start of the day, prepping the bird with apricot preserves and kahlua. I have to confess that touching the turkey was one of the most disgusting things I've ever done.

And here's the bird heading into the oven.

Fresh out of the oven.

The Table

The Table again

The Beast Carving

Today: Christmas decorations! Huzzah!

Money Aint Got No Owners, Only Spenders

The 100 greatest quotes from one of my all-time favorite TV shows, The Wire. It's not safe for work as there are several swears...actually to be honest, there's probably a swear in every sentence, but boy was it a great show and this totally makes me homesick for it.

Black and White and Loved All Over

Remember those great black pumps I was so excited about a while back? These? Well, unfortunately they didn't fit. So i went a size down and they still didn't fit. Luckily, Endless.com has free return shipping so I just boxed 'em back up and sent 'em on home.

Of course, my ennui at losing such an adorable pair of shoes was pretty debilitating so today I decided to see what I could do about it. And I found these:

And I'm in love.

Cat Fight

This made me laugh so hard my sinuses cleared and my glasses steamed up. Totally safe for work (as long as you're not drinking anything over your keyboard).

The Slams Are Back!

After hours and hours of painstaking re-creation, the pictures I had accidentally deleted from the slams are all back. Thank goodness, right? I mean, it was touch and go there for a while but I am happy to report that when you click the label below, you'll get all the wit and wisdom you've come to expect, along with the pictures to go with it.

Now, it's possible that some of you might not need to stroll down memory lane and reminisce about the scathing remark I once leveled at Cynthia Nixon over her 2008 Emmy's gown (I believe I might have used the term Captain Droopy Drawers).

But just in case, it's all there for you.

You're welcome.

Weather-Related Haiku

Rain, go eff yourself.
No offense, but I just don't
like you very much.

$20 Well Spent

I've been on a bit of a spending moratorium since the whole buying-a-house thing, but today I found these beautiful babies at Endless.com for $20. How could I pass that up?



No really, how? So I didn't. They arrive tomorrow and I am fairly giddy at the prospect.

Huzzah!

Let's Get Together and Be All Right.

Playing For Change | Song Around The World "One Love" from Concord Music Group on Vimeo.

Eeesh.

Just out of curiosity, when did Lindsay Lohan start looking like Baby Jane?

I think Bette Davis is rolling in her grave over this (probably unintentional) trademark violation.

Actual Conversation

Me (waiting for my new BlackBerry Tour to upload with all my contacts from the old BlackBerry Pearl): How's it going back there?

Guy: Um...it's about half-way there. I've never...I've never actually seen a phone with this many contacts before...You have over three thousand people in here.

Me: Oh. Well...you know how it is.

Guy: . . .

Me: Yeah. I'll be over there. Just let me know when it's done.

Fall, leaves, fall

This is making me feel SLIGHTLY better about all this dreary weather (what happened to Fall? we had ZERO blue sky/sixty degree days this year.), but I'd rather it just warm up again.

Fall, leaves, fall

by Emily Jane Brontë

Fall, leaves, fall; die, flowers, away;

Lengthen night and shorten day;

Every leaf speaks bliss to me

Fluttering from the autumn tree.

I shall smile when wreaths of snow

Blossom where the rose should grow;

I shall sing when night’s decay

Ushers in a drearier day.

Love!

I was such a huge Monty Python fan back in the day, so imagine my delight at finding THIS! Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones and Basil Fawlty on Jimmy Fallon (this is the first time that Jimmy Fallon's show has been relevant/entertaining in my world). Eric is singing Always Look On The Bright Side of Life from their under-appreciated classic Life of Brian, the two Terry's are dancing away and Basil is sitting back and giggling with Jimmy.

What a performance.

"Tragedy"

I just found this article on TruthSlant.com:

"Exotic pet" tragedy in PA by Scott Bowen

Over the weekend in my home state, a woman who probably had very good intentions died under the claws of her “pet” black bear. A neighbor shot the bear to end the attack. Click here to read more.

Call me cold-hearted but I do not believe that this was a tragedy. This was evolution.

Anyone stupid enough to keep black bears in cages as pets deserves to be eaten alive by them. Not only is it cruel to keep a naturally wild animal in a cage of any kind, but it's preposterous to think that at a certain point the animal won't rebel against these unnatural conditions.

Just sayin'.